Isolation

It’s that time again… when we are about to get on the move to another posting. Next year we will begin a new life in Townsville, Far North Queensland. We have moved cities (the number of houses is another thing!) a total of 4 times in the past 5 years because of Daryl’s work.

There are pros and cons to moving all the time. You can start with a clean slate for each move for example, or you can run from the awkwardness that may have developed among friends. I usually try to focus on the positives and not get caught up in the negatives. It doesn’t do anyone any good. A great positive is that I have some great friends in each place that I keep in contact with regularly. I would never have met them if I hadn’t lived all over the place and that’s another positive… I have lived in some far off places that I would never have dreamed of living in and I have LOVED it.

The hardest thing about living such a nomadic life is that I have always found making friends with people a tough business. It is really difficult to infiltrate that inner circle. I often think I have and that I have some great friends again but only to discover that they don’t feel the same and I am merely an acquaintance in their eyes. Each time I feel gutted but most times I understand it. If you aren’t in need of friends, you don’t place as much importance on your new friends.

Why is it that women make it so hard for one another to get on the inside though? I have watched Daryl in each move and admittedly he usually has friends from ADFA (The Australian Defence Force Academy) or RMC (The Royal Military COllege) who are posted to each location (something I get incredibly jealous of) however he doesn’t seem to have trouble invading a mate’s circle of friends. That’s what it is for women isn’t it? Invading…

So that is my greatest challenge as a Defence wife and I am finding it a lot harder now that I am a SAHM.

I was given a choice a few months back by another mother over here. She told me, ‘You should get a Pikinini Meri (PM- nanny) because you will regret it if you don’t especially when you see all the fun us other Mum’s are having at all those lunches where kids aren’t invited.’

I trialled a PM and it went terribly. It was incredibly stressful watching someone care for my daughter to a standard well below what I believe is basic… maybe I just had bad luck or maybe my standards are set really high but then again I felt, ‘Why on earth do I need a PM when I do nothing at home anyhow?’ I had a Haus Meri (HM- cleaner) at the time so I wasn’t even cleaning my own home nor was I working! I figured the lunches were something I was willing to sacrifice and to this day I know I made the right choice for both BG and I BUT it has certainly put me on the outter edge of the circle and some days that is just plain lonely…

But alas… I start again in 12 weeks don’t I? And that’s the positive I am going to focus on…

(not the fact I just started a sentence with ‘and’ for the very first time in my life… the perfectionist in me wants to rub it out now! OMG!)